how? | ijustneed2talk's Blog

how do you break it off with a person you've been with for so many years? I've tried, we've been divorced since last june! 5 days before our 23rd anniversary. I served him papers while he was in the hospital, did that not speak volumes to him!?  I tried doing the couples counseling. I tried "dating". It's too hard doing the back and forth thing so I cancelled our therapy last week after he showed his old self again. I can't go back and forth it's not fair to him or me. I can't have him playing the kids and i against each other. i can't hear him say how much he wants us to be a family and then disown our daughter the next day. I will not take the sole blame he likes to dole out for breaking up our family. He asked just a little bit ago "so you don't want to be a family anymore. that's fine. I will just tell the kids that what you said" 

why would someone do that? He wants me to take back the fact that I don't want to be with him. When we are together i feel physically ill. I am not comfortable. My throat gets tight, my eyes burn, i feel like screaming.i'm tense and my neck hurts. I 'm jittery and very quiet when he is around. I can't assemble thoughts. I just want to retreat. I feel so much better without him being around confusing me. 

he says he's never giving up. Not in a threatening way, just in a defeated sort of way. 
on paper it sounds romantic, in real life it's depressing