Post

I'm such an effing cry baby | ijustneed2talk's Blog


I missed answering my phone when the nurse called from the doctors office. Only 3 minutes had passed from the time she left the message to the time I called back. So important news that was too time consuming or no big deal and she gets back with me in the morning. Hmmmm. I will have to see. It was irritating, i cried.

Out shopping and the thought of buying presents was just overwhelming. i spent so much effort and stress in the past on this. I like material things but i hate materialism. I am uncertain how much emphasis to place on an object that will not be around by next year. i feel so defeated at the exercise of shopping for it all. I don't want a present and i am not giving you a present. I don't want to wish my life away but I just want the holiday to pass. I should work for someone but I just want to be. I have no plans. i don't want to make plans. I just want to pass some pleasant time with  my kids and maybe have some wine with my parents. I'm just silently crying as I walk the aisles of walmart. 
(being there is reason enuf to cry...but i needed stuff)

I went about my day doing things. taking care of stuff. At various times, the tears ,wtf?

finally, i went out to starbucks with my daughter. She talked me into it. halfway through my cup...i thought oh that's what was going on. she is a regular regular there. They all know her name. her own personal CHeers. I visited with a dude whom she has befriended. He is thinking about becoming a nurse. I got to sell it. i got to talk about why i love it so much. He would be perfect. He has a useless expensive degree and can do a fasttrack program. I am always thrilled to talk about my job. 

then the message popped up on the iphone. "will you remarry me on 12/12/12?" I choked back the tears but baby girl knew something was wrong. I made my way to the bathroom and then ....wtf ...the tears



This Blog Entry's Comment Board
There are no comments on this post yet, be the first to leave one!
Your Comment:


Previous Posts
my vortex experience, posted November 12th, 2013, 1 comment
number 95, posted September 28th, 2013
i hate him i hate him i hate him, posted August 23rd, 2013, 1 comment
More schtuff, posted August 14th, 2013, 1 comment
The heart of the matter..., posted July 24th, 2013
shopping trip, i felt like a rock star, posted July 19th, 2013, 1 comment
test time, posted July 7th, 2013, 1 comment
shocked...but then again...not really that surprised, posted June 16th, 2013, 1 comment
indulge me, posted June 11th, 2013, 1 comment
I shouldn't write tonight, posted May 29th, 2013, 1 comment
Let's Go Thunder!!!, posted April 27th, 2013
overwhelmed, posted April 2nd, 2013
I have 2 experiences I wish to share, posted March 13th, 2013
happy st pats!!! or life is good, posted March 11th, 2013, 1 comment
here i am again, posted February 25th, 2013
Feb 13, posted February 13th, 2013
accomplishments?, posted January 25th, 2013
Maybe I'm a little scared, posted January 21st, 2013
how?, posted January 21st, 2013, 3 comments
what did i do with my extra day off, posted January 18th, 2013
2013 random thoughts so far, posted January 7th, 2013
Tying up loose ends, posted January 3rd, 2013
My son, posted December 20th, 2012
Sometimes I don't understand, posted December 14th, 2012
I'm such an effing cry baby, posted December 10th, 2012
it aint easy being green, posted December 5th, 2012
why is everything a fight?, posted December 4th, 2012
I am beat!!, posted November 30th, 2012
old lady in a jazzy chair fites crime, posted November 26th, 2012
"The girls are all right" or " What I am thankful for this Thanksgiving", posted November 22nd, 2012
My birthday, posted November 17th, 2012
happy halloween or 10 candy wrappers and bowl of candy or wah wah, posted October 31st, 2012
Just fine by me, posted October 18th, 2012
today was a beautiful day, posted October 16th, 2012, 1 comment
Yea...that's great...really, posted October 11th, 2012, 1 comment
this day, posted September 26th, 2012, 1 comment
Ijustneed2getmyassback2thecar, posted September 13th, 2012
Great day, posted September 10th, 2012, 1 comment
I should want to reconcile...., posted September 6th, 2012, 1 comment
just a nice visit for labor day..., posted September 3rd, 2012
every other week, posted August 30th, 2012, 2 comments
just one of those days, posted August 29th, 2012
If i won the lottery...., posted August 27th, 2012
I want to know what it's like where you live....., posted August 23rd, 2012, 4 comments
unexpected....., posted August 22nd, 2012
Had a beer with my Dad last night..., posted August 20th, 2012, 2 comments
She leaves tomorrow....where was she last night?, posted August 17th, 2012
stuck for 6 weeks in front of the tv, posted August 16th, 2012
just dinner, right?, posted August 15th, 2012
The last time..., posted August 13th, 2012
1-50 of 85 Blog Posts   

Blogroll
Here are some friends' blogs...

Help
How to Embed Photos in your Blog Embed Photos How to Embed Videos in your Blog Embed Videos